Letters from Bob, Vol. 5 (excerpts)

Speaking of which, I managed to install Mario Teaches Typing on 35 virus-ridden mongolian public school computers today.  I had to format my flash drive about every 3 computers, due to it becoming inoperative from viruses...

I had a terrible dream that all of my favorite bands had broken up or otherwise stopped touring by the time I got back. [shudders]

Oh, I long for burrito shits.  They would signify that I had just eaten a burrito.  I am edging closer and closer to buying a meat grinder every day.  I have an amazing recipe for tortillas in my Peace Corps Mongolia cookbook (by which I live) and would then only be missing cheese.  That is usually obtainable in UB, which would mean burritos 2-3 times a year!  Oh, I get excited about ideas like this.
Thu, Sep 17, 2009 at 5:52 AM




Letters from Bob, Vol. 4 (excerpts)

Ahh, headed out for my first Mongolian club experience.  We'll see..
Sat, Sep 12, 2009 at 7:29 AM

The "club" had a dance floor that measured about 15 feet by 20 feet, and played horrible Russian disco music far too loudly. We immediately left for a quiet Mongolian bar.
Sun, Sep 13, 2009 at 12:48 AM

The quiet mongolian bar is really cool.  A nice combination of a traditional hearth, handmade crafts sitting about, and soccer posters from around the world on the walls.
Sun, Sep 13, 2009 at 5:52 AM




Letters from Bob, Vol. 3 (excerpts)

I've been trying to make stir fry with another pcv and things have gone terribly, terribly wrong, to the tune of things breaking and us in hysterics over how everything that can go wrong is doing so.  Sigh, I have lesson plans to write tonight.
Wed, Sep 9, 2009 at 5:01 AM

Oh man.  I was introduced to this awesome woman who speaks some of the best English I've heard here by John, who is an M-19 (the year before us, so we overlap this year.)  She's sitting here in the internet cafe, and it turns out that she runs the yoga and meditation center of Choibalsan, and John goes to it regularly.  She just invited me and the other m-20s (my year) to go to a big seminar and start at her school.  Very exciting.
Wed, Sep 9, 2009 at 5:24 AM




Escape from Choibalsan: The Bob Figlock Story

I'm pretty sure that choibalsan is where the zombie apocalypse will start.  It's the factory town around an abandoned Russian uranium mine, for one thing.  It's also full of giant old decaying soviet concrete apartment buildings.  That's pretty much all there is, in fact.  I live in one of the nicer ones.  Expect me to start writing the screenplay for my zombie apocalypse movie, "Escape from Choibalsan: The Bob Figlock Story" pretty soon.  I can already tell you the beginning.

EASTERN SIBERIA: EARLY 1960's

Two labcoated scientists, scorched and bedraggled, collapse into the snow, thrown forward by the force of a momentous explosion behind them.  They turn to look over their shoulders at the immolating remnants of what appears to be a scientific facility.

Scientist one: Thank god the last of the virus has been destroyed. To think that we had created Hell on Earth.

Scientist two pulls a vial from within his coat, and holds it aloft to gaze at it by firelight. His face is tinged with marvel and with fear.

Scientist two: No, comrade, not the last

Scientist one, shocked: Why, Vladmir, why would you save any of that cursed virus?

Scientist two: The orders came straight from Comrade Kruschev.  We are to bury a single sample, to be released in case Mother Russia should fall.

Scientist one: But where, Vladmir, where can the devil be buried so deeply that he will not rise again against our will, may God forbid it?

Scientist two: In an Uranium mine, comrade, just across the southern border from here.  The Mongolians will never know what lies buried beneath them.  They will never know what lurks beneath.... CHOIBALSAN.

(Title screen: Escape from CHOIBALSAN: The Bob Figlock story) is superimposed over the burning building.

The set is in a Mongolian ger.  A stove burns weakly in the corner, and wind blows the tent flaps.  An old, bunny-eared, black-and-white television is flickering.

Reporter, British accent: The UN and CDC jointly announced the discovery of a new strain of influenza, dubbed "The Choibalsan Virus" today, preliminary results show it to be remarkably virulent.... CCCHHHHKKKK

Static blasts onto the tv

The same set (in the ger.) The stove has burnt out, and dust covers the furniture.  It appears that some time has passed.  A bloody handprint is on the television's knob. The wind is blowing more fiercely than before.

Reporter, British accent: The United Nations General Assembly unanimously passed the Choibalsan Virus Containment Act today, shutting down all international borders for an indefinite amount of time....  CHHHKKK

And then something that starts to introduce the characters and whatnot.  I thought of this entire thing while in the bathroom the other morning.  It's just preliminary so far, but tell me what you think.  Perhaps you could make an awesome movie poster?  Ok, have to go.

Fri, Aug 28, 2009 at 4:43 AM




Before Choibalsan

"I miss you guys!  I have to be very brief; I'm in a strange internet cafe during lunch break. I'm going to Choibalsan.  It's the easternmost Aimag center in Mongolia.  I will have four sitemates, and they're all very cool.  There will also be three more within an hour and a half-long bus ride.  I hear that the city is extraordinarily flat and boring.  It was supposedly the site of a major Russian uranium mine, so it's mainly post-Soviet concrete-block buildings. I'm basically going to Siberia, (just a few hundred km south which is nothing here) except where they speak Mongolian.  On the plus side, it is on a special cargo train line to Siberia.  This means that it has the second-best food supplies in the country after Ulaan Baator.  All of us there have to live in apartments which have their plusses in comfort and their minuses in less of a neighborly experience to integrate with the community.  At least one of my counterparts lives in my building though.  They say that I will have internet at school, but I'm not sure about whether I can get it at home yet.   It's a three-year old school with six brand-new English teachers.  They want to become a school that specializes in foreign languages, and it seems that that's pretty much up to me.  Ahhh, I have to play piano at the swearing-in ceremony tomorrow!  The US ambassador and the Mongolian Foreign Minister will be there.  Sigh.  Lots of stress.  I'm very excited though.  Also, it's a 14 hour bus ride from UB to my site, so that will be fun.  I would encourage visitors to take advantage of the twice-a-week $100 (each way) flights.  I would, of course, spend part of your trip with you in UB, and we could go to the sites of some of my best friends here who live near UB in gers.  It would be pretty great.  Ach, have to go practice for tomorrow.  Bye!"

Tue, Aug 18, 2009 at 12:41 AM