Letters from Bob, Vol. 2 (excerpts)

""ger-bul" (ger-group a.k.a.family) dinner."
Wed, Jul 8, 2009 at 6:03 AM
"Had my directorial review today.  Apparently they love me.  They think I don't take enough notes during my daily four hours of Mongolian class though.  I take notes IN MY MIND."
Wed, Jul 8, 2009 at 11:30 PM
"Peaches and gravy is now among my favorite expressions.  Before coming here, I would have thought the idea of the two combined disgusting. Now, for lack of good food, I find it ravishing.  It turns out they have 3G messenger hawks here.  Have fun!"
Thu, Aug 13, 2009 at 10:59 PM

Goat Wrestling... (unabridged)

A story continued from an earlier post:

I had a ridiculous Nadaam weekend.  A brief foretaste: it started with us wrestling the goat that we were taking out to the countryside to gut and roast into the trunk of a Hyundai sedan.  The goat was, to say the least, displeased about being put in the trunk.  It was a pitched battle for quite some time.  He managed to ram the wheel and, unbeknownst to us, pop the tire.  As we were driving to the relatives' house to drop the goat off, we realized the tire was popped, but the spare was in the trunk with the thrashing and thumping goat.  That's how it BEGAN.  I have a bunch more stuff to send you.  Overwhelmed with it yet? Mon, Jul 13, 2009 at 1:42 AM


Contrary to earlier promises, I didn't slit the goat's throat, as there was a very particular way this goat needed to be killed.  They make a soup out of the blood and so as little as possible needs to be spilled. Throat slitting is not exactly prime. They had us hold it down, and the grandfather took out a huge knife.
He made a decently sized-incision on the chest of the live goat, plunged his hand in, and fucking pulled out the heart.  The goat was dead in like 15 seconds total.  It was amazing.  I'm told that I will be asked to do this soon.  My god. They immediately fried the heart (giving me a hefty chunk,) and then filled the body with scalding hot rocks.  A blow torch took off the fur and a lot of the skin.  I went out to play soccer with all the kids, and by the time I got back they had most of the guts out.  We made "hoshuur" which is pretty much hot-pockets, out of all the meat and the guts.  I've gotten so used to eating guts..... Fri, Jul 17, 2009 at 12:29 AM


[[editor's note]] This story was in recent debate with Ryan North, author of Dinosaur Comics, who I met at a conference at the University of Illinois. Perhaps a few key details were curtailed in the telling of the anecdote, which was also part of the introduction. (something to the effect of: "Hi, I have a friend named Bob studying in Peace Corps in Mongolia. He is a huge fan of your comics. He sank the largest cruise liner in the Mediterranean and has ripped the beating heart out of a live goat.") Apparently you do need to make an incision before digging your hand into straight up flesh. We are not zombies.

"I just got kicked really hard in the shin by some 15 year old who was screaming "jesus" at me.  I think he thought I was a missionary.  It hurts!"
Wed, Jul 1, 2009 at 5:32 AM

Letters from Bob, Vol. 1 (excerpts)

[[editor's note]] To enhance the quality of the Mongologue, I'm going to start posting few snippets from e-mail exchanges in between regular posts. Hopefully this will help keep a more constant flow of content, and give you a better idea of the crazy little stories we all miss sharing with Bob on a daily basis.
"In lifestyle, it's nothing like what you'd imagine here.  I've seen many gers with giant flat screen tvs, and I have yet to be in even a very nice house with indoor plumbing of any sort.  In fact, I'd say the gers are generally nicer.  I'm in a tiny cottage, which is warm but god I'd slap a puppy for a toilet.  Holes in the ground are terrible.  Also, the food here does not make for pleasant bathroom visits...  The language is extraordinarily difficult.  The people are great... and the dogs are the scariest beasts you'd ever imagine.  Hardly even dogs.  missing huge patches of fur, dead on teh side of the road, chasing me around, mainly st6uff like that. Fun." -Bob
Mon, Jun 22, 2009 at 3:26 AM
"Funny how TV comes before toilets, though sounds about right for that part of the world. You should build yourself a royal throne with wood and cover it with felt... sounds like you're guna be building those squatting muscles back up. After Spain, the girls had calves of steel... When you get home, I imagine you looking somewhat like your description of Mongolian dogs, patchy and delusional." -Madelin
Mon, Jun 22, 2009 at 7:27 AM
"Patchy and delusional is already where I am, I think tattered and somnambulatory is where I'll be when I'm back." -Bob
Sat, Jun 27, 2009 at 3:30 AM

Surreal.

Please listen to this song as you read further:
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I have become an avid runner since coming here.  On any day that I'm out of teaching class early enough to get in a good hour of meandering through the aimag's lesser-traveled back roads and horse paths, I do so.  This evening, I went farther than ever before on what is perhaps my favorite trail.  Though I have run with other volunteers, today I was alone.  There are few trees in Choibalsan, but some outlying regions are fairly forested due to planting projects that the Soviets undertook decades ago.  Running East-West clear across the Southern end of the town is the most convincing of these mock-woods.  The trees there have grown tall enough that falcons and eagles use them as hunting perches from whence they can peer across the massive steppe that extends beyond the city limits in all directions.  I jogged Westwards along these paths until I came to a fairly large and shallow pool, at the center of which sits a giant stone Buddha.  I love to run around this pond, as I can see out over the massive Ger District which lies strewn to the North and West.  The inhabitants of these areas tend to burn trash in large pyres, both for warmth and just to get rid of it.  They were doing so in full flaming force this evening.  The smoke filtering across the little lake makes for some spectacularly streaked sunsets, if you catch them at just the right time.  After enjoying such a sight, I was jogging back home when a capricious urge overtook me.  I cut through the trees to the south, and ran up an embankment that I had not previously noticed.  This was quite a find, as the majority of the terrain here is about as flat as moonscape. Just as I scaled its 10 meter (towering, in my mind) summit, my ipod hit the crescendo of strings that occurs at about 1:32 in "The Kiss" from "Last of the Mohicans."  My running playlist here is embarrassingly full of such grandiose music.  At that very moment, three horsemen in full dels and felt caps (traditional Mongolian riding attire) burst out of the trees, singing a song in unison. Their entrance on the scene must startled two very large birds of prey, who tore out of the trees and the crimson sky from the Northwest and strafed directly above me, hurtling towards the Southeast.  As I turned to follow their flight, I saw that they had disappeared into the largest and most luminous harvest moon I have ever witnessed. The three mounted Mongols streaked past me to the South.  Just as this magical minute passed, so did the song end.

I stand fully ready and willing to admit that one of the reasons I came out here was to fill my days with moments that make me wonder whether my life is directed by Sergio Leone or Peter Jackson.  Somehow the coincidences and happenstances of existence here are so obliquely arrayed that they align into cinematic moments that occur with such frequency that I am tempted to abruptly stop and demand that the hidden cameramen show themselves.  On each of these surreal occasions, I find myself awash in wonder, admiration, and of course, contentment.

That's how I'm feeling right now.  I'm still sitting in my sweats, having immediately torn out my laptop to type this.